mills
New Member
Posts: 1
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Post by mills on Aug 20, 2011 14:12:14 GMT -5
Arrancar Name: Lelouch Lamperouge Age: How old they appear, as well as how old they actually are. Gender: Male Weight: 200 Height: 5 foot 10 Rank: 8 Description:  Personality: Lelouch usually is a quiet person but when provoked he will fight harder than most think he can. when around his superiors he usually do as he was told unless he believe it is a waste of his time Abilities: Lelouch's power is to release a poison mist to paralize his oppenent by going into their cells and shuting them down. it may cause death if in the poison long enough Zanpakutou Sealed:  Resurreccion: envenenarlos, la muerte negro (poison them, black death) Appearance:  Abilities: he can emmit a paralizing poison mist from anywhere on his body as well as spit a deadly poison PICKLE!!! |
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Post by Captain Stelevein on Aug 20, 2011 16:14:52 GMT -5
I'm sorry to do this, but for starters you don't have much detail at all. Especially in personality, I really expect more there, of course it only says more than one sentence and no list, you have provided two sentences, so not much I can do about that.
As for his abilities, could you possibly put a bit more detail into it? If you need a reference of how it should come out, you can check the other profiles if you want. It might help a lot. It just seems like one or two sentences won't cut it man, sorry. It wouldn't be as bad if it were a lower ranking Arrancar, but you are applying for an espada, it just need more detail.
Edited: Hmm, I missed the age, so you must put that as well.
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Post by Enjiiro Senboukun on Aug 20, 2011 17:46:02 GMT -5
I somewhat agree with Stele about the whole detail issue. Although we technically can't force you to add more, we would very much appreciate it if you did. This is because, as Stele said, you are applying for a fairly high ranking position, and as such you should consider adding more detail. This is not for our gain, but instead for yours. I say this because, once all positions are filled we will be resorting to competing for positions in high-ranking areas. That being said if you don't have very much detail, it will be easier for you to lose your spot later on in the future, should someone want to compete for it. Consider these reasons when deciding whether or not you want to add more detail to your bio. Also you need to add an age to your character bio. Thank you for your time, and I hope you will take the time to further detail your character as suggested. I look forward to seeing your revised character as well as RPing with you in the future. :]  |
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Post by Akiyamasan on Aug 21, 2011 11:18:02 GMT -5
In good conscience I would not be able to accept this character as it is right now myself. While I cannot exactly ask you to put more details into the personality or history aspects of the character, I do want you to create more abilities, and have the ressureccion be more powerful in terms of abilities instead of just a small augmentation to his in-general strengths.
If you require ideas or assistance in abilities, do not hesitate to either read the other character topics for ideas, or even just asking someone for help via PM or chatbox. I'm rooting for you, do your best and let me see what you can do when you put your mind to it okay? I can't wait until you are able to participate in the RP with the rest of us!
But for now, character is unaccepted.
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